Seems as though everything of interest usually revolves around a relationship or failed one. There have been alot and I mean ALOT of ups and downs, usually the downs were lower then I ever thought I could get. The lows would sometimes take over every bit of my energy and I would fail to see the good. Today is my entry on some of the positive things that has occured in my life over the past year.
First and foremost I have learned who my true friends really are, and even though there may not be many, the strength does not lye in the numbers but in the quality, the loyalty and dependability of the few. My one true friend Kirsten has stuck by me through thick and thin. No matter what I know she will always be there for me and I for her. "A true friend is someone who is there for you even when they would rather be somewhere else." I have had people who claimed to be friends but when the going got tough they got going. I look back and sure it hurts but it has made me a stronger person for I know who I am and who I dont want to become. For I know the when I have given of myself as a friend that person can rely on me and trust that I will catch them when they fall. Or atleast call for help if I miss. :) lol
There have been guys that have come and gone in my life. The men that have come into my life, were probably not good choices. But of every single one of them I learned a little more about myself. Sure it was painful but without going through that pain I would not have found out what Im capable of. I know that I am worthy of love and I know I have alot of love to give.
I have also had some guys come into my life, who have not hurt me and who have taught me alot. They have given me the freedom to explore myself and figure out what Im capable of. There is one special person out there, that is still a very big part of my life and we remain friends. I call him my gaurdian angel. After everything I have done he has never judged me and still accepts me as me. From him I have learned "No man or woman is worth your tears and those who are will never make you cry" I think he and I get along so well because we have twin souls, its complicated to explain. have you ever met anyone that was exactly like you, just opposite sex. We have so much chemistry together but we would never make a good couple together but we love each other none the less and respect each other.
A third person who has helped me, more then anyone else so far in my life would be someone new to my life. He has helped restore my faith, helped me realize that my marriage failing was not my FAULT, even though sometimes I still have a hard time accepting that it wasn't. He has been by my side through the bad and still beside me through the good. he knows how much I care for him and in my heart I know but I havent convinced my head that its alright. I think he is relieved of that because he isnt ready yet himself and I wouldnt want to put pressure on him in that sense.
Finally this past year has taught me that no matter what my parents love me and are proud of me. They accept me and accept the situation I have been in and support why im in this place in my life.
From all the good the bad and the ugly I have learned "Some people come into our lives and quickly go, others leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same."
Yesterday ||Tomorrow