I very rarely talk about what I do day to day on here. I tend to keep it to an event that happens. I dont usually talk about the monotony of my days. I guess today is a little different. I feel like just typing about stuff. Recently I have been known for my new quote I seem to find myself using alot. "JUST BEING" or "JUST BE" I dont really know how to define it excet that it is what it says it is.
Several months ago in one of my counselling sessions I didnt knowhow to describe what and how I wanted to feel except to say "JUST BEING". I guess I should give a little insight into what I mean by this.
In the past 2 years I have been hurt alot. A little by my ex husband, alot more by an ex friend and alot by myself. I had alot of obsticles I had to over come. ALot of which was social anxiety, and most of all trust issues. I have had alot of people walk into my life int he past year, play mind games or just make unwise decisions where I was concerned period.
Then my boyfriend comes along and there was great physical attraction between him and I. Question was, was there more then attraction. Little by little we started spending more time together. We had some discussions and we decided that we were both content and happy with where we were with each other and that we didnt want to be looking for anyone else. The big word MONOGAMOUS. I still had this feeling like he was going to hurt me in some way and I would think to hard. If he was out with his friends I would wonder if that was a cover for being out with another woman, or would he pick up some one else while he was out the guys. My head would play games and I thought to much instead of "JUST BEING" Just being in this time and place where we are right now. To relax and enjoy it for what it is in that moment.
I have learned to JUST BE and in the past several weeks when we are together I dont feel the need to be doing something every minute of the day. We know how to JUST BE with each other, no expectations, no plans, just relaxing and being in the moment.
This weekend was filled with JUST BEING. Friday we went for dinner and then home to relax. Watched some tv curled up and feel asleep with his arms around me. Saturday I woke up to breakfast served to me in bed. Did I mention he is an aswome cook? Then we went out to play pool, Im actually starting to get good at it. Then we went down to a restaurant PUZZLES to play some NTN and have a few drinks. Arrived at home to a hot bath and a little tv both fell asleep with the tv on. Sunday was a relaxing day in, doing nothing but playing on the computer and tv. We are currently on season 5 of Buffy and season 2 of Angel. Something else we have in common. I have become a Buffy and Angel junky, my computer is now full of different wallpapers that include buffy, angel, spike and willow. Last night we finished disk 3 of season 5 for Buffy this means we are half was through the season. Sad thing is that season 6 does not get released untill July. I think if J moves in and things go well we might start buying Deep Space 9 as we both think that is the best Star Trek series. The only problem is that the seasons run a little over a hundred dollars which is extremely expensive. As it stand now I spent over 300 on Buffy and I still have 2 seasons to purchase, Angel is in the same price range, however J is buying those ones.
Like I said I just felt like typing and I guess you could say I have done that. Anyways I do have a fewthings I have to do here although I cant do much cause of my back but there are a few things I can do so talk to you all later.
Yesterday ||Tomorrow