2004-02-03 - 5:30 p.m.

Whats there to say?
WHats there to say?

I'm in a downslide right now. I think my hormones are playing a really good trick on me right now. I seem to cry at the drop of a hat. Some people may think this is nothing new. However it's worse then it usually is.

Im sure the hormones are a contributing factor but I think being off work and having not much to do with my time is another factor. THE MAN spends alot of time with me and he does need his own space which I understand. Then there is my best friend Kirsten but she is just in the beginning stages of a new relationship. If anyone remembers those days then you will understand why she is not around much lately. On top of all this I have the normal stresses of bills and appointments, the time of year is playing a factor, all this snow and cold is driving me nuts.

I had a counselling session today. For the second time since I started seeing her I cried. I was finally able to put a little closure to my grieving for my friend who passed away. I still have a small project I have to work on but that should be sort of a fun thing to do.

On top of talking about my friend we talked about my relationship with THE MAN. I learned that asking him to move in with me might not be a good idea. I dont want him to be pressured so today we went for lunch and I talked to him. I told him that I love him and I want him to move in because I want to share mylife with him but that I dont need him. I am not dependant on him and I dont need him to save me. So for now I will be looking for a renter for my basement and in the interm if THE MAN decides he wants to share ourlives starting now then great but he is not allowed to move in out of need. I hope this makes sense to people I know it does in my head but then I have been thinking about it all day.

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