We both feel we have fallen into a rutt and things have become very routine. I guess we both dont like that. I guess I dont like it because it reminds me tooo much of the relationship with my ex husband. Everything was very structured and routine and I didnt like that. At one point things just werent there. Whether it was ever there and I just noticed it or if we simply grew apart I am not 100% on. I have discussed this before and I am pretty sure it was never there but we never realized it till it was toooo late. Two people wanting to escape loneliness. I guess you could say we would have made great friends but can't turn the clock back now.
So back to THE MAN and I. We are coming up with some new ideas to make things not so routine not so structured. This could be fun.
I think another thing that throws a monkey wrench into the basket is that I am not working right now. That makes a big difference. THE MAN commented last night that it seems like I have no passion for anything right now. Although this maybe true, I questioned him what is it that I have to be passionate about?
I love my job and what I do but cant do it.
I am home alone all day with nothing to do but clean.
My back/shoulder/neck injury is keeping me from doing things I would normally like to do IE swimming skating skiing any of those things.
I hate crafts and hobby type stuff so what exactly am I supposed to be passionate about. Once we start doing doctor visits for my surgery and once we find out if WSIB is sending me back to school I am sure I will have lots to keep me busy. Untill then I am keeping up with my GBS support groups, friends online, houseworks my pets and family thats all I can do.
Needless to say THE MAN felt guilty about what he said. I know he means well and he is frustrated to that it seems like I rely on him when he comes home from work for me to interact with. I guess this is partially true but what else am I supposed to do.
My best friend has been busy with her own life. Things arent going so well for her. On New Years her fiancee told her that he wasnt sure he loved her. And then she works all the time so she doesnt have a lot of time for friends.
Then the next closest people who I would consider friends dont even live near me. In fact I am sure that "S" and "D" and I would be awsome friends if we lived close by. only "D" lives 4 hours from me and "S" well she lives in Texas which Im not sure how far by plane but its probably atleast 4 hours by plane. We are hoping that one day soon we will be able to get together.
I have to get going but I will update again real soon.
Yesterday ||Tomorrow