Several months ago, infact before Christmas I was on a message board. I came into contact with this person "D" and we became friends. We identified with several of the topics on the message board and often found ourselves in a heated discussion with several other users regarding a particular person "S". Well it just so happens that we both became friends with this particular person. I was friends with "S" because I identified with her. When we talked we felt like we had known each other all our lives. You know how you meet someone and you just feel like you have always known them? That was and still is our relationship. We can go months without talking and then when we do talk its as if we never stopped talking. We found out that our family backgrounds were very similar, in fact our birthdays are only days apart. She had gastric bypass and well I just had gastric bypass and much of what our daily experiences had and have been are very similar. In fact I feel like we are 1 big family. I feel like "S" is my sister. Its funny I feel like she is my big sister and yet she is younger then I am. Go figure...lol
As for "D"'s relationship with "S" I am not exactly sure what their common ground was except for "S" being on a reality TV show and "D" just wanting to be friends and the common link was the reality TV.
So anyways the story goes like this. "D" was obsessed with the show and often couldnt let issues die. Only from what I have witnessed on the message boards she couldnt keep confidential items that was told between friends off the boards and on more then one occasion divulging information that no one was supposed to know. I know that "D" was becoming more and more invovled and often told me about calling "S" and calling often. I was afraid that "D" was gettign too involved. This reality tv show became an obsession and I can't help but wonder how much of the her relationship with "S" was an obsession. Anyways I have tried to be a friend I have tried to tell "D" to back off to stop obsessing about issues, but to no avail. Well it turns out that "S" couldnt handle a friendship like that and I couldnt blame her. "D" is a nice person but she was just an unhealthy realtionship for "S" I coudl understand. "S" tried to nicely explain that she didn't want to be friends and well "D" has gone off the deepend. Since I sympathize and understand where "S" is coming from I suppose I backstabbed "D". I have tried to explain to her that I can still be friends with both but according to her I have to pick one over the other and apparently I picked "S".
What "D" doesnt understand is that I don't invest much in internet friendships. They are just that internet friendships. I can talk to them, have conversations and share things. But in the end I dont expect that person to come bail me out of trouble or support me the way my friends would do. I guess I expect others to feel the same way. I love "S" I feel like we are sisters and we share so much more then what transpired on TV. I hope that continues. If for some reason it shoudln't then I will cherish the conversations that we did have the good times that we had and know what we had for that time was real but for whatever reason one or both of us had to move on. I hope that doesnt happen but if it does then I wish her the best of luck and have no hard feelings.
As for "D" I have said before on other forums that I still consider her a friend. I know right nwo she is mad at me for not identifying with her but I have to stay true to myself. I think what she has done is wrong, I think the ways she has gone about showing her feelings are wrong. She is so full of anger and just lashing out without thinking first. I understand that and forgive that and if she should come to me and want to be friends great and if not then so be it. I hope she gets the emotional help and support she needs and she finds something constructive to do with her time.
Its very sad the "D" feels the need to make up stories to "S"'s family in hopes that they will hurt me the way she feels she was hurt. What she doesn't understand is that no matter what their decision I won't be hurt because I won't allow it. Yes I feel like we are family but I also know that people have to do what is best for them and sometimes that means letting others go.
I hope she finds peace and love in her heart again. Her behaviour has turned ugly and is not very becoming of her at all. She has jumped to conclusions, said hateful uncalled for things to and about others. I fear she is suffering some paranoia, thinking all others do is talk about her. News flash life doesn't revolve around her and some people have more important issues to discuss other then the little rantings, obsessions and delusions of someone they have never met.
In other news. My aunt's funeral was yesturday afternoon. Unfortunately I was unable to attend, however my mom shared with me that it was a beautiful ceremony. Her three young daughters were given gold lockets that each had some of their mom's ashes in them. I that that was a beautiful way to keep their mom close to their hearts. The service was beautiful so I was told and there were tons of people who showed up. This just goes to show what kind of legacy she left behind. People knew and loved her. Everyone who she ever met was there, she spread joy and warmth to all and it showed. I only hope I could have such an impact on others in my life the way she did.
I bought a pink magnetic ribbon for my car and will wear that proudly on my car in memory of her and all other women who have fallen to breast cancer. I am also making a donation to her local cancer ward in her name. I wanted to do something but being I am 9 hours away what coudl I really do and I didn't want to do flowers there would be so many and they don't last long so I figured a donation would be money well spent.
I should be getting ready for work so I will talk with you all later. Ciao
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