2006-06-29 - 10:33 p.m.

Now that it is locked.....
Now that my diary is locked I don'thave all that much to say LMAO...SO what have I not talked about much recently

1) My work placement is going really well. It got off to a little bit of a rocky start but the past couple weeks it has been ROCKEN...... and I think I am foring some great relationships with some of the youth. I was saying yesterday how amazing that it is that some youth no matter how hard you try to get them to open up they are just sooo guarded and then some all you have to do is say one thing and they start telling you their life history. For instance this one boy who seems to not open up to many people, well he got picked up last week for breach of his probation. I saw him the other day and it was WAYYYYY hot out and he was wearing a sweatsuit and sweater. I said to him "You must be really hot." This prompted him to tell me what happened to him in the past week and every crappy thing that happened to him and how he managed to problem solve. I am not sure that his problem solving was really appropriate but atleast he still managed to show up for his appointment. He spent 45 minutes talking to me about EVERYTHING. I felt honored that he was comfortable enough to start talking. So that was work.

I guess some people wonder some of the crimes these youth do. Well most of the youth are involved in drugs some how. They are either doing them or selling them or both. Some have shoplifting charges usually combined with something else like assault. Assault is also very common and many of the youth are at high risk which means they are likely to reoffend if they don't make some changes. And yet I find myself saying that some of these kids are good kids. I can't help but like some of them. You really get to see how their living arrangments, or life experiences and circumstances have molded their decisions and thought processes if that makes any sense to people out there. I really think that some of these kids can turn it around and really make something of themselves if they were to make a few changes.

On to another topic

2) THE MAN he and I have been pretty good. What many don't know is that around Christmas we started having a few difficulties, more so because of two people that came back into his life and for some reason they don't like me and yet they never took the time and made for opportunities to get to know me, even though I had tried. To top it all off these people were girls. THE MAN didn't find anything odd about it, but after seeing what happened to me he has slowly cut them out of his life and he has nothing to do with them anymore. I want to make clear that this isn't about him having his own friends, or friend's of the opposite sex because he already has those for which I am not threatened. But as a woman you don't invite another woman's boyfriend to your house and never invite the girlfriend. You don't have a christmas party and explicitly tell him that he can't bring his girlfriend. And you don't tell him that you don't like his girlfriend when you don't know anything about her.

Oh and THE MAN and I have been having a few issues with life. 1 I want to get married again at some point...He isn't too sure.....2 I want to have a baby....again he isn't sure....3 He makes comments about my cats and how he can't take them anymore..And I yell at him telling him he just wants me miserable, he won't marry me and I can't have a baby cause he isn't sure and now he wants to take my cats away. THAT WILL NOT happen. He says that is not what he is saying but I get upset and say that although that is not what he is saying that is what he is making me feel. Oh and have I ever told you guys I want a golden retreiver...well I'm not allowed that either. Anyways that is the tension that is going on with THE MAN and I. Other than that it is all good. I want to stress that we don't fight tooo often but when we do that is usually what it is about. That or that he doesn't really like my parents which really hurts me cause they love him and would do anything for him.

School is not tooo bad but I am getting a little burnt out. Workers Comp told me yesterday that they would pay for school for one more year which would leave me needing to pay for two more courses on my own and I would have my bachelors. During that time they would also pay my wages. My other option is to get a job now and they would pay the difference between what I am gettign paid now and what me pre-injury wages were. So now I have some choices. I thought that I really wanted to do school but as it stands that would be 24 months of school with NO breaks. I am burnt out now so I don't know how I could go into another 12 months of school 1 week after I am done this course. SO I think I am opting for getting a job instead.

On that note I applied for one job posting as a corrections Justice Services Officer. WOrking with Offenders who are being released and integrated into the community, I woudl be working along side the probation officers. So I will keep you posted on how that goes. I also have about 7 other jobs I have found that I will be applying for. So wish me luck

Take care all and talk to you all later.

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