On another note yesterday was an extremely emotional day for me. I was dealing with something that made me relive a part of my life that I was or have not been able to deal with.
As many of you know I work in a group home for hard to serve youth. Meaning most have been taken from their families for various reasons by CAS or for my american friends CPS. Some are there because they are involved with the law. In any case I am dealing with a 15 year old girl who is getting bullied by her housemates. We aren't talking just a little bullying here or there but viscious, malicious, in your face mob mentality bullying. Many people will agree with me and those who don't simply have not experienced bullying behaviour before. However bullying is very serious and has lifelong consequences. I know this because I experience them everyday. I was a victim of bullying and to this day I doubt myself, I think that I am not as good as others, I do not have the confidence or self esteem that I should. I have anxiety over the everyday small things, walking through a restaurant to go to the washroom I worry people are staring and laughing at me. Things like this. So anyways I was working in a home I have never worked in with girls I have never worked with and I witness this behaviour. I stop it the best I could seperate the girls but my heart went out to the young girl who was understandably upset. The next morning I talked to the staff who is a regular staff and told them what happened and this person blew it off as if it wasn't any big deal..This person also told me that it happens all the time. Which is what the youth told me when she was upset. So at this point I decided to talk to my supervisor and find out what I should do next. I am determined to get to the bottom of this and make sure it stops. So I talked to her yesterday and she is in full agreement with me that this behaviour is unacceptable and that I need to talk to that house supervisor for which I did.
Apparently the house supervisor knows that it was happening and in their words "Yeah so it happens all the time" I was blown away so I wasn't sure if they knew to what extent so I told them again. And I got the same reply and then was questioned. But it was in such a way that it put the blame on me. The girls who participated in the bullying had no responsibility acording to her and apparently it was my fault. For which after our conversation it pissed me off, it upset me. I felt that once again I had become a victim. SO now instead of allowing other people to make me a victim I am taking it upon myself to fight this. I know this behaviour is unacceptable. This girl has the right to live in that house free from being attacked. So I talked to my supervisor again and they will talk to the other supervisor but I am sure I will be going to the director. If things don't stop and the agency does not do something and prevent this girl from being bullied than I will go to CAS/CPS it is my duty to keep this girl safe. It is the agencies duty to keep her safe and if the agency knows she is being bullied and does nothing about it they are culpable to abuse, and I will have the duty to report. This may mean me having to lose my job but if it means protecting a child and preventing this girl from going through what I have been going through my entire life than that is what I will do. if anyone has any suggestions please let me know. I could use all the advice.....Needless to say I cried most of yesterday, it hurts me to know that these girls are hurting and some people don't care.
Yesterday ||Tomorrow