My best friend, is so unreliable and undependable that its saddening. She is so unreliable and undependable that I can depend on her letting me down, in one form or another. I must have sucker or idiot written across my forehead. There must be a sign that says "KICK ME" on my back.
You would figure your best friend you would see often. We live in the same city and we have only seen each 4 maybe 5 times since christmas.
We make plans with each other and for some reason she always has to cancel. Let me give you the reasons I have heard in the past.
-My mom is sick
-my grandma is sick
-Have to pick up my parents at the airport
-Have to take medicine over to my brothers
-I have to work
-I dont feel well
-Im tired
-(MY FAVORITE) I have to clean my drawers
-I am really sick not just a little sick
-I dont have a vehicle
-To much work to catch up on
-Marking papers
I dont know how many other excuses I have heard. Today has been planned for like 2 weeks. I have been looking forward to it. Last night she calls and tells me that she has an appointment till 12 but will be over right afterward. This appointment isnt a necessary appointment. It was for her to see her psychic. So I was sitting on my front step waiting for her from 12:15 till 12:50 then i came inside. I checked the phone and she had called twice. Once saying after her appointment she was sick and throwing up and not able to get together and then the second was saying that she thought she would stop by on her way home anyways but since im not here she was just going home.
Like what did she think? I told her I would be ready to go out when she got here. If I act like I dont believe all her excuses she gets insulted and upset that I dont believe her but please how come everytime we are to get together something happens. It is so consistent now that I cant believe her.
I cant afford to invest my feelings, emotions, time and energy into a friend who just doesnt seem to care. I cant keep feeling like this. I cant keep going through this. I feel guilty and shitty for not believing her but she has given me no other reason to believe her.
Maybe im unreasonable, maybe im abnormal but when I make plans with someone, it takes a hell of a lot to keep me from my plans.
If she was really my friend I wouldnt feel like this.